Media Storytelling – Mock News Writing

This is a mock newspaper that is strictly written for practicing news writing.

Bank officials said the man first went into the bank with the excuse of obtaining information about a loan, talked to a loan officer and then left. When he returned a few minutes later, he was brandishing a pistol and demanded money from the bank teller. As the gunman scooped up the money, he also picked up a small exploding device disguised to look like a packet of money and stuffed it into his pockets along with the rest of the cash. Student witnesses believe the gunman sped away from the scene in a pickup truck parked outside the Oastler building. 

The device is activated when someone walks out of a bank with it. The length of time before the explosion is determined by each individual bank using the device. The device contains red dye and tear gas and automatically explodes after a specified amount of time. Police say they found a red stain in the rear parking lot and surmise that the device exploded just as the robber was getting into the truck.

A sergeant at the scene said that many banks now use protective devices in an effort to foil bank robbers and that the stain will eventually wear off humans but stays on money forever. He estimated that the man will be covered with the red dye for at least the next two or three days.  Most of the customers were unaware of the robbery until told to get down on the floor.  As the gunman left the bank, he ordered four customers (all students) to lie down on the floor. An eyewitness told police he saw a late-model black pickup truck speeding on the ring road with a red cloud coming out the window a few moments after the robbery but was unable to get the license number. 

REWROTE:

A lone man, aged between his late thirties to early forties, described to be medium height with short blond greying hair - performs a robbery of Santander at the University of Huddersfield campus on Thursday 22nd October, at 11.44am.

Bank officials said the man first went into the bank in relation to discuss loans and then left. He later returned a few minutes later, with a pistol and demanded money from the bank teller. When grabbing the money, he picked up a small exploding device disguised to look like a packet of money and stuffed it into his pockets along with the rest of the cash. Student witnesses believe the gunman sped away from the scene in a pickup truck parked outside the Oastler building. 

The device is activated when someone walks out of a bank with it. The length of time before the explosion is determined by each individual bank using the device. The device contains red dye and tear gas and automatically explodes after a specified amount of time. Police say they found a red stain in the rear parking lot and surmise that the device exploded just as the robber was getting into the truck.

He estimated that the man will be covered with the red dye for at least the next two or three days.  Most of the customers were unaware of the robbery until told to get down on the floor.  An eyewitness told police he saw a late-model black pickup truck speeding along with a red cloud coming out the window a few moments after the robbery but was unable to get the license number. 

REWROTE IN 100 WORDS:

A man in his late thirties to early forties, performs a robbery on Thursday 22^nd October at 11:44am - of Santander at the University of Huddersfield campus. 

He previously went in to discuss loans, but later returned demanding money. He grabbed the money, whilst picking up a small exploding device disguised as cash. 

Student widnesses say he sped away in a pickup truck parked outside the Oastler building. The device, which contains red dye (which stains for multiple days) and tear gas, is activated when someone exists the bank and evidently will automatically explode after a certain amount of time.